As we kick off a new year, have you taken any time to review the previous year, what you’ve accomplished, and what has changed for you and your family?
The new year is one of my favorite times of the year. I love to review where we were a year ago and how much has changed, and I love to ponder and get intentional about planning for what I want in the upcoming year.
I invite you to join me and take a few minutes to consider where you and your kids were a full year ago. Most people tend to skip this step. They focus entirely on what they want to change about their or their kid’s lives and how far they have to go to get there. Very rarely do people look back and see how far they’ve all come.
Unfortunately, when you stay focused on how far it is you have to go without taking into account how far you’ve all come, you get discouraged, making it that much harder to keep going.
I understand that it can be hard to see change on a daily basis, but when you view it from an annual perspective, it’s much easier to see how far you’ve come. It’s rewarding to see what you’ve accomplished, and it gives your brain a hit of dopamine, making it easier to keep on the path to your goals.
Here are some of the things that I've changed over the years:
I stopped yelling at my kids and gained more patience.
I stopped telling my kids what to do (most of the time!) and started asking more questions.
I became less judgmental, and I became more curious.
I stopped questioning and second-guessing my parenting decisions and gained confidence.
I gave up the boxing gloves that I used to beat myself up.
I stopped feeling guilty all the time.
I started treating myself more kindly.
I gave up the self-doubt and started believing I am a good mom.
My relationships with my family improved and we had more peace and joy in our home.
I started with the goal to stop yelling. Once I learned how to do that, I realized that I could change. I’ve been on a mission to become the best version of myself ever since, knowing that it will be a lifelong journey.
I get that it’s easy to look at someone else and think it’s easy for them, but not possible for you… but that is only your mind trying to keep things predictable. Your mind sees predictable as safe and change as dangerous — even if the change will make your life so much better.
So, I invite you to start by opening up to the possibility of change. When you see someone else who has changed, instead of being frustrated or resentful, consider that they are proof that it’s possible.
In full transparency, I couldn’t change until I got help from a coach. It had such an impact that I went back to school to learn the coaching methodology, which is now what I use for my clients. I’m now watching my clients, everyday people like you, make amazing changes in the lives of their families.
They are less frustrated and more calm.
They are less judgmental and more curious.
They are less anxious and more confident.
They know how to stop the negative spiral that would ruin their day.
They are no longer stuck in doubt and confusion and have effective tools and strategies in their parenting toolbox to handle the challenges that arise.
They have more meaningful conversations and better relationships with their kids.
Their kids have gained confidence and get better at managing challenges.
Their family lives run smoother.
I am not some special unicorn, and my clients are not unicorns either — Change is possible for anyone, and it’s possible for you, too.
The key is believing it’s possible. Everyone thinks they have to take action to change and see the results before they can believe it. But if you don’t believe it’s possible, you make it much more difficult for yourself. It’s like trying to push a boulder uphill, which is why it’s helpful to look back. Looking back over a full year and how far you’ve come makes it easier to believe change is possible.
But if you can’t believe it yet, find someone who can hold that belief for you. Someone who knows you can do it and helps you get back on track when you fall off—someone who will hold the belief that you can change even when you are in doubt. Change can be hard, but having someone in your corner makes it so much easier.
If you are serious about making lasting changes this year to improve your relationship with your kids and impact your family, I would love to support you. So many parents come to me feeling like there is no hope and things can never change, but I know without a doubt that change is possible for your family. I can help, and it starts with one phone call. Click here to get on my schedule to discuss what you want to be different by the end of 2025. What do you want to be proud of by the end of the year? I believe in you, and I can help you get there.
