As the holiday season is upon us, what are you grateful for, and what brings you the most joy? I know that when I stop and take stock, I’m usually most grateful for those small moments of connection with my loved ones — the moments talking before bed or the random hug in the middle of the day that bring me the most joy. The question is how present are you for these moments?
Are you able to enjoy them, or is your mind occupied with the long to-do list that most parents have this time of year? Now that my kids are young adults, I often tell parents of littles that although the days may be long, the years are really short.
With all the technology, activities, and opportunities for our kids, we can fill up every available hour if we aren’t careful. And with so many “perfect” pictures of beautifully decorated houses and family activities readily available in your feed — the standard we hold ourselves to and the resulting lists of shoulds can get long.
As part of my coaching, I work with parents to identify what’s lacking in their family and determine what they want most instead of what they feel they “should” be doing. Unequivocally, almost all parents crave quality time with their kids. They want to feel more connected and have more positive experiences with their kids that create fond memories.
I invite you to consider that the lists in your head and expectations of yourself that you feel you “should” be doing actually keep you from creating the joyful moments you want and keep you from being present for the ones you already have.
This came up in a coaching session with a working Mom: She wanted more unstructured time with her children, but she had a lot of lists. As a working Mom of three boys, she was very good at managing her calendar and getting things done. The problem was that she was constantly on the go and didn’t have that downtime that she craved.
I asked her if she ever considered scheduling unstructured time with her kids. I could literally see her stop to think and start to wrap her mind around that idea, which had never occurred to her. My point is that if you want to make time for what matters most and brings you joy, you have to make it a priority in your schedule.
Our days and weeks can go by so quickly. If we don’t intentionally plan and make time for the things that bring us joy, it won’t happen. I invite you to consider scheduling time for what will bring you more joy this holiday season! If you want more time to connect with your kids or down time for yourself, schedule it on your calendar — and then commit to following your schedule. When your scheduled time arrives, concentrate on focusing on what you are doing, not your lists.
You may need to practice redirecting your mind to stay present. The point of scheduling this time is to get your brain to relax as you are doing exactly what is on your schedule. You planned time for that which would bring you joy.
Remind yourself that you scheduled the time and you’re not supposed to be doing anything else at the moment so you can stay calm, present, enjoy the time, and make memories. Consider this thought — I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing right now. I’m choosing joy!
I encourage you to think about what you want to create in your life and make sure that you are scheduling time for what brings you joy! Then, work on intentionally staying present to actually enjoy the time you scheduled.
Are the holidays a struggle for you? Imagine having someone to not only support you but also help guide you and give you the tools you need to navigate the challenges. I would be honored to be that person for you. Click here to line up a free call and find out how I can help.
